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We have all grown up learning our nursery rhymes like verses of the Bible, unquestioning about their implied meaning and subtle reinforcement of conservative social structures - like the role of each parent in the family and the family's primary provider aka the father.
"Hush, little baby, don't say a word. Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird.And if that mockingbird won't sing, Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring."
Notice how the baby is being soothed by promises of all the lovely things that 'papa' will buy for him/her.
While in most Indian families, it is mostly the mother who soothes a wailing child. Imagine the mother singing this to her baby, glorifying papa dearest and with nil reference to the mother who is painstakingly pacifying the child.
The next example is of the very famous and loved nursery rhyme - The Wheels on The Bus Go Round and Round. In this one, when the baby goes 'Wa Wa Wa', the mother goes 'susshh sussh susshh' whereas the father the father goes ' I Love You'. So, there is no reference of mommy saying I Love You to her crying child. The sussh sussh makes mommy look so frustrated that she'd rather have the child quiet. But only the father feels this deep love for the child.
Another common rhyme, one of my son's favourite too, is
"Johny Johny, Yes Papa. Eating sugar, No Papa.
Telling lies, No Papa. Open your mouth, Ha Ha Ha."
Since this is an everyday kitchen situation, I wonder why there can't be another paragraph with Johny having the same conversation with Mama. Also, don't we hold the mommies accountable for feeding the child healthy and nutritious food? And daddies spoil the kids with sweets, candies and the like? So, this conversation seems more suitable to mommy than papa.
Let's take some examples of Hindi lullabies.
"Mummy Ki Roti Gol Gol. Papa Ka Paisa Gol Gol
Dada Ka Chashma Gol Gol. Dadi Kee Bindiya Gol Gol"
Here, the gender stereotypes are just glaring. 'Paisa (money)' is conveniently associated with the father while 'Roti (flat bread)' and 'Bindi' are associated with the mother and grandmother. Also, the grandfather wearing a 'Chashma (spectacles)' can be interpreted as a working male who can be seen reading a newspaper - an educated member of the family. While no such association is made with the women in the family.
The last rhyme I wish to highlight is also a Hindi one. Similar to the previous one, the generous Papa gives money while the loving mother gives oodles of love.
Bandar ki jhopadi mein so rahe the,
Bandar ne laat maari ro rahe the,
Mummy ne pyaar kiya, hass rahe the,
Papa ne paise diye naach rahe the,
Bhaiya ne ladoo diya kha rahe the."
Bandar ne laat maari ro rahe the,
Mummy ne pyaar kiya, hass rahe the,
Papa ne paise diye naach rahe the,
Bhaiya ne ladoo diya kha rahe the."
Isn't it time we change this narrative instead of making generations after generation rote learn all this and unknowingly internalise these concepts?
Families of today are not always 'Mom and Dad'. They could be Mom or Dad or only Grandparents. In many countries, it is not uncommon for families to be Mom and Mom or Dad and Dad. Don't these families deserve some representation in the education which we impart to our kids in school or at home?
Your thoughts are welcome! :)
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